What To Do When Your Kid Gets Cut From A Team

The walk back from tryouts can be the longest walk of a season. When your kid gets cut from a middle school or high school team, it hits their confidence and it hits you right in the chest. I’m Rob Termina, and I’m talking straight to parents who want to protect their kids without making the moment worse, because the way we respond becomes the lesson they remember.

We get honest about why cuts happen in youth sports: limited roster spots, too many kids trying out, position backups, and the reality of upperclassmen. It’s not always “fair,” but it is often predictable, and understanding the numbers game helps you trade outrage for a plan. I share a simple guardrail that can save a lot of regret: the 24-hour rule. No rash emails, no instant quitting, no dramatic moves, just support while emotions cool.

Then we shift to what matters most: teaching your child how to pivot. Getting cut can be a bruise, not a broken bone, if we use it to build resilience, self-awareness, and a healthier sports mindset. We also talk about the difference between travel sports and community sports, and why local leagues are essential for kids who love the game but aren’t on the “elite” track right now. There are more ways to play than one school roster.

If you care about youth sports, parenting athletes, and keeping doors open for kids, listen now. Subscribe, share this with another sports parent, and leave a review with your best advice: what helped your child bounce back after getting cut?

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Transcript

Welcome And The Dreaded Cut

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to Raising Athletes. I'm your host, Rob Termina, and today we're talking about the dreaded cut.

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Raising athletes, the things that causes all dads to go bald and moms to buy minivans, empowering parents to help their kids succeed.

Why Teams Cut Kids

The 24 Hour Rule For Parents

Teach Kids To Pivot

Why Community Sports Still Matter

Find Another Team And Keep Going

Relentless Mindset And Closing

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Now, if you are a parent of middle schoolers or high schoolers, then you definitely can relate to this feeling. You are in the school parking lot, you're waiting at the end of the final day of tryouts, and this is the day where the kids find out did they make the team or did they get cut? And you watch your child approach the car with the bag dragging, the shoulders are um hunched forward, they're looking down, and you just sort of know what's going to happen next. And your heart sinks and it breaks for your kid. And this is a tough moment, but it's also a tough learning opportunity. And there are things that we want to react to in those situations, but it's important for us to be self-aware, honest, but also not give up. So today, we're not talking about the elite athlete and the path to success and to the path to continuing to play in college and maybe even beyond. Today, we're talking about those kids that still love the game enough to show up for their tryouts, but at those tryouts, they unfortunately didn't display the skill that particular coach was looking for, and unfortunately, they got cut. What's next for them? What are the opportunities for them? And that's about that's what today's discussion is about. So let's just be honest about something. When it comes to teams on school teams, it's a numbers game. There's a certain amount of kids that can make a roster. Some schools have a ton of kids come out for just a roster of 12. And being one of those maybe 12 or 15 kids on a team can be hard when there are 30, 40. I've heard in many cases over a hundred kids coming out for one particular team. And not to mention on maybe a lot of kids coming out for a team, but maybe there's a lot of kids coming out for the same position that your child was trying out for. And the fact is, like I was saying earlier, it's a numbers game. They have a limited amount of roster spots, they've got a limited opportunity for kids that play certain positions. And guess what? There's also a thing called upperclassmen. So it's a hard, hard situation, and it could be incredibly discouraging to both kids and parents. And as parents, we want to react in that situation. We want to quickly say it's maybe not fair, or we want to try to find a loophole to be able to allow our kids to still be on that team. I'm saying this. Number one, I think a great piece of advice for parents in these situations is to don't react. Is I like the 24-hour rule. We have a tendency to emotionally react to things, and we're not very rational in those moments. So 24 hours, there's no decisions made. It's just a support system. And then once the uh the emotions have kind of simmered down a little bit, now we're of a better frame of mind to be able to figure out what's next. Another thing that I really, really think is a great opportunity is don't quit, but use this as an opportunity to teach kids how to pivot. That's a really great life lesson here that is only presented for kids, so not only, but more often than not for kids anyway, through sports in this particular situation of getting cut, teaching them how to properly and in a healthy manner to pivot. This is a great opportunity as a parent. These are teaching moments for kids. But here's another thing, and this is what now I really want to focus on. This is one of the reasons why I feel like community sports are so important. And over the years, the lines have blurred between travel sports and community sports. And I personally believe that there should be a very clear line between those two things. There should be a very clear distinction between travel sports and opportunities for kids who might be more skilled in a particular sport and kids who may not have that same skill, but they have that love for the game and they still want to be able to play. We can't allow, as stewards of community sports, that to happen. We need to still create opportunities for them. Community sports are there for kids, regardless of age, skill, or experience, to come and together learn, play, and grow. That's the job of community sports. Because we can't in one breath say community sports are important, and then in another breath, only create the opportunities for the excellent elite kids. Our job, if we truly believe that, is to create opportunities for everyone and allow there to be a distinction between those two things. And in the case of the kid who might have gotten cut from their middle school team or JV team or varsity team, here's what I want to challenge parents to do. Don't quit, don't give up. Teach them this is just a bruise, not a broken bone. Pick up the glove, pick up the bat, and do your best to find a community, organization, or league that still provides opportunities for your age kids because they're out there. There are great leagues that are still providing opportunities in communities for middle schoolers, for high schoolers, even. And I say enroll them. Give them that opportunity to still be part of a team and still be able to play and enjoy that sport. Because there are lessons that kids will learn in sports that just cannot be taught in a classroom. You want to give those kids an opportunity to experience and learn those things as well. Check out online, you can just Google it. The statistics uh statistics don't lie. Math doesn't lie. It's incredible what sports can do for a kid. Don't rely on just your school sports. Don't rely on just the travel team. There are more opportunities for your kid to still play, even if they get cut. So, as parents, be relentless. As parents, teach your kids and be the example of how to be relentless. Don't give up yourself. Teach them there's just another opportunity elsewhere. Just because one door closes doesn't mean they're all closed, because that just means there's another door that's gonna open up as an opportunity to you and your family. Defend community sports, create more opportunity in community sports and find those things for your kids because they are going to love you for it. They're gonna love the experience, and they're gonna be better leaders for it as well. Thank you for tuning in to Raising Athletes. We'll see you next time. Take care.